Oops

WARNING: The following blog features acts performed either by professionals or under the supervision of professionals. Accordingly, The Garrison Household and the Writer must insist that no one attempt to recreate or re-enact any action or activity performed in this blog.

We were bored, I have to admit. I cannot say, however, that we would have used our time differently if we weren't. I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to spend their Wednesday night watching great (awful) movies? We started with Titanic 2. You're probably asking yourself, how can this movie exist, being that the Titanic Sunk? But I'm asking myself, how did so many pretty girls get on one boat? I mean, every single girl was beautiful. The boat sank. People died. I'd feel bad about ruining it for you, except telling you how it ends actually saves you from attempting to watch it.

We then moved on to Zombie Strippers, which lasted all of about 3 minutes before we turned it off, and from there went to Alien vs Ninja. I thought the award would go to Alien vs. Ninja, especially when I saw the scene where the Alien ripped a Ninja in half. I jumped the gun though, because I hadn't yet seen The Human Centipede, which gets the award for wost movie of all time. Bryan Euser had to make the suggestion, and I severely regret listening to him (He later redeemed himself). My life is worse because I watched that movie, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

During all of this madness, Flu made the ignorant comment that the Titanic had taken off from Britain. I decided I needed to log on to Wikipedia to prove just how wrong he was (He was right). I found a lot of interesting information about the Titanic, and a particular story caught my eye: the story of Violet Jessop. Apparently, both sister ships of the Titanic also either sunk or crashed. Violet was on all three.

I sent a text to Bryan and in his opinion, some of the information on Jessop's wiki seemed a little fishy. There was the story about a baby being stolen from her immediately following the Titanic crash, who later prank called her. There is also the story about how she went back when a boat was sinking for her toothbrush. I suggested to Bryan that we make our own contribution to the Wiki, and offered him a suggestion, which he refined. He replied: Check the Wiki. (Please refer to the last sentence of the Britannic section.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violet_Jessop

Bryan you are a genius! "Reports also indicate Violet witnessed a prehistoric creature submerging and swimming away after the sinking of the Britannic." Kablam! Not only did we instantly become published writers, but we learned a very important life lesson. Our teachers were not lying to us when they said Wikipedia is not a reliable source. I officially, sincerely, and formally apologize to every teacher I fought with over the validity of Wikipedia. I was wrong.

Please do not attempt to recreate the events of this blog. These movies are to NEVER, EVER be watched. I realize it sounds fun to "put your own spin" on history, but I compare it to letting your dog poop on the neighbors lawn. Sure, if I let my dog poop on the neighbors lawn, they might be upset and a little suspicious. But if everyone lets their dog poop on my neighbors lawn, then war will be waged. Lets not screw kids over when they're writing their school essays, and disregard the teachers warnings about Wikipedia. I know I already have a lot of apologizing to do, to kids out there writing their Violet Jessop essays.