It was a great excuse to not call and check in. It was a great excuse for my mom never to know I was currently in the dumpster behind Barnes and Noble taking anything good I could get my hands on. It was a good excuse to not call a girl back. I didn't get a cell phone until I was 17 years old, and I never complained.
Apparently, elementary schools even have problems with cell phones being used and ringing in class. I don't have a problem with young people having cell phones, I'm just trying to illustrate that young people HAVE cell phones. Why is this important? Text messaging.
Whether it be text messaging or instant message or Facebook chat, it doesn't matter. Being able to hide behind a screen, from another location, gives people a lot of courage. Especially young people. We can go on and on about whether or not Facebook, or cell-phones, or chat are good or bad things. I'm not interested in arguing about that, as much as I am interested in the things people are enabled to say over text message.
People tell each other they love each other. People ask each other out on dates. People sext (this still baffles me). People break up with each other. People tell each other they hate each other. People talk about difficult roommate situations, discuss bills, apologize, share their heart, argue, fight, smile, encourage, cry out, and even laugh out loud.
I have seen a lot of people talk to me about things that they would never, ever say in real life. I have had people bring stuff up that when I am around them, don't exist. I've had people tell me how much they love me, when around me they can't give me a hug. There is courage, a ton of courage, hiding behind a screen. This fascinates me. There must be something about someone looking you in the eyes, that exposes who you really are. There must be a great fear inside of us, that someone might actually see the real us.
I think that having courage to say things that you wouldn't normally say, can be a great thing. I know that people have shared some really cool things with me that they wouldn't have otherwise. I strongly believe that someone asking someone else on a date, or telling someone they like them, should happen in person. However, if there is someone who is incredible to me, and it comes down to them telling me they like me over text, or not at all, I will take the text. I've loved how real and raw some people have been with me over facebook chat. I love the deep inner workings I get to see in people's hearts, when I otherwise wouldn't get the opportunity. Encouraging texts can be saved, to look at later. None of these are negative things.
It can also be very dangerous. It enables someone to say something they don't mean. People take risks and get involved in things they normally wouldn't. It almost seems like the added courage of hiding behind a screen, can also be mask the feeling of conviction. The conscious can, essentially, be muted. I've seen a lot of people make mistakes over text, facebook, or email. It is not always a good thing.
My biggest point is this: If text messaging gives you the courage to say something you normally wouldn't, let that courage carry over. Let that courage be a starting point. If you are able to tell someone how important they are to you, over text, transfer into being able to look them in the eyes to say the same thing. If you can ask someone out on a date over text, make sure you can tell them how special you think they are after the date, to their face. If you can tell someone they screwed up, or you are upset, own it! Be able to look them in the eyes and have a difficult conversation.
I strongly believe in the positive effects of added courage. I have experienced a lot of cool things as a result. But life was intended to be real; so make it real. Use the courage as a stepping stone to something bigger. When you text someone, ask yourself (every time), could I say this to their face?
And for the record, I don't need text to tell you I love you. Give me a chance to spend some time with you and I'll be sure to say it to your face.
2 comments:
Is this also why we blog?
BTW: Please don't title a blog "Winky Face" ever again.
I shall title my blogs as I please... It obviously evoked a reaction in you. Maybe that is what I was going for. Also, blogging is different for me. I've had this conversation multiple times but to write 1000 words or whatever, is a good way to reach the masses in such a way that would be hard for you to do conversationally. But yes, perhaps some people write in blogs what they are unwilling to say in real life.
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