Perpetual Motion of The Human Heart

The older I get, the more of an attempt I make to understand how life is changing. I want to remember how life was, realize how life is, and dream about how life is going to be. But as we get older I understand the term 'childlike faith' more and more. Because from my observation, the older we get, the more destructive we get. We become destructive to ourselves and to the ones that we love.

One of the things that I am seeing more and more everyday, is that more and more people love with expectations. What a bummer! People are constantly deciding what people owe them, what people deserve from other people, and who people should be to them, and around them. I would be lying if I said that I haven't fallen into this, and I would be willing to guess that anyone reading this over the age of 21, could agree.

It is really heartbreaking. It really is. On the receiving end, I have had people tell me that I haven't offered them enough; I have had people tell me that I didn't act a certain way, when I should have; I have had people tell me that I didn't live up to certain 'social responsibilities.' And when I heard those words from people, it literally tore me apart. It IS my desire to love people with all of my heart. It IS my desire to take care of people, and give people an opportunity to take care of me. And when people tell me I didn't do a good enough job, it literally causes me to ache.

On the receiving end there is really nothing that you can do about it, except for ask God for healing, and hope and pray that people do appreciate the strides that you make to chase after who they are. But there is plenty I can do on the giving end. And in the past I have been critical of people. In the past I have gotten upset because people didn't 'offer' me something that I was 'owed.' Here's how I look at it now:

No one owes me anything. I am so thrilled to have people in my life who offer me love and who offer me time spent. But everything above zero from people is a bonus. And I need to start looking at my relationships and asking myself... what do I appreciate about you? People ARE going to mess up! I AM going to mess up! And I often do. People need grace when they screw up. And while I think real and big and deep issues need to be confronted... let the little stuff go. Consider what others might be going through themselves when they treat you a certain way. Ask questions, don't point fingers. And sometimes, yes, just let things go. Relationships are the most important thing in the world. Lets take care of each other. Love with all of your heart. Love until it hurts, even if it means someone hurting your pride.

Trust me in this: I love you so so much. I will screw up. I need grace. I love you so so much.