Authors note: The over-use of the exclamation mark in this blog is for the intentional purpose of conveying intensity. This is not a case of exclamation mark negligence.
This one is short, but let me go ahead and welcome you guys into my dream world. Let me preface by saying that I constantly sleep eat (and drink). And what is the number one thing that disappears throughout the nights? Milk. My milk, my roommates milk, anyone's milk. And we all know that dairy gives you near hallucinogenic dreams.
I was the Batman. And the Riddler was up to his usual tricks... Riddles. Though, I'd call this one more of a puzzle. He had kidnapped both wealthy people and friends, and placed them with their backs facing a swimming pool. Each was carrying a briefcase, and as I approached the briefcases flipped open revealing different contents.
What was the Riddler getting at? What was his game? Damnit, I needed more time!
I looked the Riddler in the eyes, told him I couldn't do it, and I walked away. Holy Batman! Really? That's enough to make any 10 year old boy cry. But the Riddler wasn't the only one playing tricks. You see, I knew that the real target in this situation was me, and if I was unwilling to play, the Riddler was going to have to find a way to MAKE me play. I was buying time.
I found a nearby wedding reception, and I sat down next to Alfred and Kate. Kate asked me what was wrong and I wouldn't say. I simply didn't want to get her involved. After some talking she made a remark about how I'd make a good father. I stood up in a display of emotional brilliance (cue stringed instruments), shouting they deserve to be good fathers too! Why can't they have their chance?? I have to save them! I put my fist through a window. It was time! SHOWDOWN!
I was standing on the edge of a dock, and I jumped in to take a swim. Once my head was submerged, there was an Orca whale swimming with all my friends. Okay this is the part where things really get crazy: You might be just as confused as I was. Where's the Riddler, what happened? Well, I am of the opinion that the universe snapped me out of the Batman dream because there was something very valuable to be learned. And as frustrating as not seeing the ending of my Batman saga (I probably would have messed it up, anyways), it was like an emergency announcement interrupting your favorite tv show to tell you a tornado was coming... except WAY worse.
NONE of my friends were terrified. Guys this is an ORCA whale! Orca whale = killing machine. It's like a panda meets a shark meets a whale and they all have a three way baby, and then they give that baby copious amounts of speed. Don't swim with Orcas guys. Free Willy might have been a warm fuzzy story, but they didn't have the facts straight. Dreams have meaning, and it would be selfish of me not to share the importance of this one: Swimming with Orcas will get you killed. Be smart guys. Be careful, because you deserve to be a father (or mother) too!
