Eternity Now

Eternity, Heaven and Hell, that starts right now. Not later. YOU get to decide RIGHT NOW, what your life is going to be like. You get to decide right now how you create life for the people around you, how you present life for the people around you. You don't get to be in control of the things that happen to you. And if your life is anything like mine, there's some pretty fucked up shit that goes on. But circumstance is circumstance. You don't get to control what people say to you, do to you, how people treat you. You can't control sickness, unexpected events, and sometimes you can't even control your own emotions. But your response to life, circumstance, and people is all yours. That is something you own. So own it.

Choose life. Smile. Be bold. Face it straight on. "We are more than conquerors!" "Seize life! Eat bread with gusto! Drink wine with a robust heart!" "Don't skimp out on colors or scarves." Can we please grab hands, and explode into this world with fierce eyes and blinding smiles? Can we make this a better place? Can we be different? Can we, at the very least, risk our lives to try? Because if I'm going to lay down my life for anything, it is to see the world around me transform. I will lay down my life to see the hearts of the broken come to life. Dying for something is a one time event, but laying down a life happens every moment of every day. I cannot and will not do this alone. I need help. Who will hold my hand? Who will do this with me?

Merge Left

7:00 AM and the fifth snooze button. Jason had studied physics in high school, but couldn't seem to remember the lesson that explained why gravity was twice as strong when he was atop a mattress. He got - no, rolled - out of bed, knocking over a beer bottle from the night before. Time to shower; time to go to work.

Jason couldn't help but wonder if the 24 hour Old Spice really kept him smelling old and spicy for 24 hours. He'd have to ask the next girl he hugged, he thought to himself, water running down his face. He'd already been in the shower for at least 20 minutes, but the hot water heater always brought its a-game. Long ago Jason had come to terms with his addictions in negotiation when he decided, "Alright - you can stay. I'll just set my alarm an hour earlier than I need to so I can accommodate you, five snoozes, 30 minute shower." Sometimes surrender to your vices is freer than victory over them.

Today marked three years in construction for Jason. Accident prone it seemed his shift of holding the 'slow' sign for cars, had become longer than anyone else's. Jason saw the good in it: spending time outside, working with his hands, and getting to be around people. It wasn't all bad but every morning when he woke up he couldn't help but feel a little bit of sadness. He never woke up before his alarm went off, and he never got excited about his days.

"Oh that's okay Jason," he'd tell himself. "At least it is a job. It's not really that bad is it?" It wasn't. It's not as if he spent every singe day in misery. Some days were bad, and some days were alright. Construction wasnt his passion, but someone had to do it right? Otherwise there'd be no construction. He often would tell himself that when he had a wife and kids he would wake up every day excited to work so that their lives could be great. He'd pay for food, and eventually his kids could go to college. Work wasn't supposed to be fun. Work was work, and you just wake up in the morning and you do it.

He was out of the shower now. The hot water temporarily tattooed his skin red. Reminding himself not to think about things so philosophical while he was tired, he wiped the towel across the mirror and looked at himself in the eyes. "Yeah," he said, "work is just work." But a part of himself felt betrayed. Deep down he wondered if he was lying to himself. He knew in his heart that life was supposed to be something so much more.

One Day at a Time

The most terrifying thing I can think of is to be old and look back on my life and say that I wasted it. I don't want to be unused potential, and I never want to have to ask myself what could have been. We have so many gifts among us, and worse than death is life without truly living.

I understand that I might be too hard on myself. However, I will never be willing to settle for a mundane life. Sure, we can't spend one hundred percent of our time commandeering ships, base jumping off the space needle, or saving the USA from a terrorist threat with nothing more than a potato gun. We don't all need to move to foreign countries or forsake responsibility in the name of 'living the great adventure.' In fact, I often feel like people quickly become addicted to things of that nature because those 'adventures' mask real, true idleness.

I just want every moment to matter, in my heart. I want to be fully alive when I have nothing better to do than sit on my porch and watch the cars go by. I want painful moments to hurt, I want to laugh with joy, I want to truly celebrate. And beyond that, I want to give myself away. We all have gifts, but they aren't ours to keep. The inflation of ego, using gifts to build our empire is one way to be selfish with our gifts; not using our gifts at all is another.

I'm not perfect, and I'm definitely not a hero. I don't expect to wake up tomorrow and immaculately live every single moment. In fact, I've only proved that throughout my life I am all too willing to let it pass by. At least, more willing than I want to be. I also don't have the answers or words to get anyone else to that point. But there is one thing I am sure of: if I surround myself with people who are passionately seeking life, the contagious nature of big hearts will be a constant reminder that every single day and every single person mean something. And I guess, amidst all of it, that is the best possible thing I can ask for.

Be the type of person who is fully alive when you have nothing better to do than sit on your porch and let the cars go by. Let painful moments hurt, laugh with joy, and truly celebrate. Chase after your dreams! Ask people what their dreams are, and grab their hands and chase with them. Please. And I will do my best to be that kind of person, and together we will passionately, imperfectly love and inspire our way through this life.

When you are old, I will be there by your bedside to remind you that you did it. I will be there telling everyone all the stories, re-living all of the moments when you were truly alive.

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

This is perhaps, maybe, more vulnerable than I'd like to be:

Sure, our parents pretended to love us... but if they REALLY loved us would they really shut off the light and leave us to get eaten alive by the monster under our bed or the boogeyman? Love is more than a feeling, it is an act. And if it was genuine love, they wouldn't have tried to save on grocery costs by serving us up on a platter (okay, a bed) to the creatures of the night.

Actually I was never afraid of monsters. It seemed irrational to my nerdy, afro baring, glasses wearing head. But as a young'n our house got broken into - funny story though, I was in denial at first and thought that people broke into our house to leave us presents (seriously [they didn't]) - and after that I had a great fear of robbers breaking into my room at night.

But now I know that I'm strong enough to kick any robbers ass (I'm not, but I'm really fast and could run away), and I'm not afraid of monsters under the bed. However, I have been hearing really creepy noises at night. Really creepy. And the problem isn't that it is the unknown, because I know exactly what it is (I almost wish I didn't).

Mice. It is mice.

And lets just be honest here. Mice are far more terrifying than robbers or the boogeyman. Why do you think I'm blogging at 11:48 at night? About nothing? It's so I don't have to face the mice. I also have music on very loud and I'm sleeping in my clothes. I might not ever sleep again.

SHOWDOWN!

Authors note: The over-use of the exclamation mark in this blog is for the intentional purpose of conveying intensity. This is not a case of exclamation mark negligence.

This one is short, but let me go ahead and welcome you guys into my dream world. Let me preface by saying that I constantly sleep eat (and drink). And what is the number one thing that disappears throughout the nights? Milk. My milk, my roommates milk, anyone's milk. And we all know that dairy gives you near hallucinogenic dreams.

I was the Batman. And the Riddler was up to his usual tricks... Riddles. Though, I'd call this one more of a puzzle. He had kidnapped both wealthy people and friends, and placed them with their backs facing a swimming pool. Each was carrying a briefcase, and as I approached the briefcases flipped open revealing different contents.

What was the Riddler getting at? What was his game? Damnit, I needed more time!

I looked the Riddler in the eyes, told him I couldn't do it, and I walked away. Holy Batman! Really? That's enough to make any 10 year old boy cry. But the Riddler wasn't the only one playing tricks. You see, I knew that the real target in this situation was me, and if I was unwilling to play, the Riddler was going to have to find a way to MAKE me play. I was buying time.

I found a nearby wedding reception, and I sat down next to Alfred and Kate. Kate asked me what was wrong and I wouldn't say. I simply didn't want to get her involved. After some talking she made a remark about how I'd make a good father. I stood up in a display of emotional brilliance (cue stringed instruments), shouting they deserve to be good fathers too! Why can't they have their chance?? I have to save them! I put my fist through a window. It was time! SHOWDOWN!

I was standing on the edge of a dock, and I jumped in to take a swim. Once my head was submerged, there was an Orca whale swimming with all my friends. Okay this is the part where things really get crazy: You might be just as confused as I was. Where's the Riddler, what happened? Well, I am of the opinion that the universe snapped me out of the Batman dream because there was something very valuable to be learned. And as frustrating as not seeing the ending of my Batman saga (I probably would have messed it up, anyways), it was like an emergency announcement interrupting your favorite tv show to tell you a tornado was coming... except WAY worse.

NONE of my friends were terrified. Guys this is an ORCA whale! Orca whale = killing machine. It's like a panda meets a shark meets a whale and they all have a three way baby, and then they give that baby copious amounts of speed. Don't swim with Orcas guys. Free Willy might have been a warm fuzzy story, but they didn't have the facts straight. Dreams have meaning, and it would be selfish of me not to share the importance of this one: Swimming with Orcas will get you killed. Be smart guys. Be careful, because you deserve to be a father (or mother) too!

Patronus FTW!

Lord of the Rings. Harry Potter. Pirates of the Caribbean. If I could walk into a soccer game with Jack Sparrow, Legolas, Strider, and Harry Potter on my team, I’d be feeling pretty good about my chances. Strider would be busy trying to draw the six foul, while Legolas would probably have borrowed HP’s broom to get a better view of things. Harry Potter, prior to the game would explain to me that my patronus was a soccer ball, and while I distracted the other team with my patronus, Jack would have smuggled the ball over the goal line while HP was magically running time off the clock.

I would have more championship t-shirts than I would know what to do with. I might be able to sew them into a blanket, wear them all at the same time, or if I know anything about that Jack Sparrow he’ll probably be tying them together to sneak out of the window at my house, when the cracken rings my doorbell. “He’s not here to trick or treat Jack!” “I’ve got a ship and crew already manned and ready in your garage!” “You flooded my garage??” “No time!”

The craze behind those movies and books was absolutely insane. It was like the whole world was secretly waving wands about shouting spells at their mirrors, learning how to perfectly load and shoot an arrow in one swift motion (please tell me I wasn’t the only one doing those things!). Why? Why are we so inclined to think that the world of Harry Potter is any more interesting, imaginative, beautiful, adventurous, fun or exciting than our very own REAL world?

I’ll be the first to admit that if I was a master of the sword I’d be happy. I would love to be able to cast magic spells. We all would! But I suspect that somewhere along the way we told ourselves we weren’t going to get super excited about our own world. Did we get let down after getting our hopes up? When we used to feel much did we get hurt lots? Did we shut it off?

This goes both large scale and small scale. I know a girl who plays the piano. She doesn’t just play the piano, she PLAYS the piano, and it melts my heart. I can say that listening to her play for me, is one of the most meaningful things I know. It creates an ache in my heart. It is magic. People who know me well, hear me refer to this often, as a “piano moment.” And life is FULL of them, full of seemingly small moments that are actually so big! Sneaking out of your house at 3 in the morning with your roommates to go sledding. The time Flu made it in and out of every room in the house by only climbing furnature and scaling walls. Setting up a middle school kid for a goal at the after school program. A sunset. Someone telling you they love you. Holding someone’s hand. Laughing! These things are magic!! Life, real true life, is full of moments like this.

And big picture? There is no greater adventure than chasing after the people you love and the people that love you. Sure magic, and pirates , orcs and wizards are cool… but Daniel Carter, Lance Atkins, Hannah Payne, Jordan and Sammy Archuleta, my cousins, Rachel Larsen…. (List continues)… are much, much cooler. It is as simple as that. They ARE my adventure.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with LOTR, Harry Potter, etc. Anyone who gets excited about those movies and books and celebrates them: I am on your side. But can we get just as excited about real life? Look for the piano moments! Tell people about them! Celebrate them, and experience them!!! Get hurt, laugh, play the piano, listen for the piano, watch a sunset, and climb around the walls of your house. But most of all, live the adventure, and go out and love with a big heart and reckless abandon. Your story is better than Harry Potter’s story. If you guys surround me with that kind of enthusiasm, I think I will be happy for forever.

Galactic, Fantastic, Sporadic - Love Story

Curly haired boy in outer space,
Cutest Earth girl in the human race.
Gravity, you will never find,
Except that which pulls your heart to mine.
Holiday stars sparkle just like snow,
But my address Santa does not know.
I promise you are worth every commute.
I'll love you with interstellar pursuit.
Darling, I promise you I'll set the mood.
We'll dine by starlight with freeze dried food.
When you are sick I'll float with you,
Watching out-dated episodes of scooby-doo.
Asking you out might be a long shot,
But it's better than dating my astro robot.
If you say yes my life is complete,
I'll finally take Moulan Rouge off of repeat.
And when the impending asteroid plummets to earth,
It will finally be time to show you my worth.
I'll fly this here spaceship right in the way,
Diverting its course, and saving the day.
And if we're successful we'll be lost in the fire,
But losing your life is not my desire.
Because of this I have to demand it,
That you never know me and stay on your planet.
And when you stare up and look at the glow,
It will be illuminated by the love-light, you never did know.
But when I look down at your planet so blue,
My heroism will be inspired by what I see in you.

If it can never be so, why am I writing this ditty?
I guess its to make sure you know, that I think you're pretty.